Day 35: Bean There, Done That - MMC Wraps Up

Ahem, ahem. This is a teaspoon-to-coffee-cup tribute. It’s time for the good-cafe toast, and the bad-cafe roast. Before we put ears to the grounds, MMC would like to thank those who drank. First, to Friend of MMC, Robin to the coffee drinker's Batman. Vibes, you're tank. Next, to T-Love and the Advertiser food liftout who recommended this write-up. Last, to Radelaide.net, the little website that could, and did, remind MMC to finish the damn blog. Which blog? Oh yeah. My Morning Coffee. The Order: 35 cups of coffee, 35 nights blogging and 35 bleary-eyed days of legal clerking.



Let’s recap on the MMC mission. No barristers or baristas were harmed during the making of this blog. My Morning Coffee was no empirical study. Reviews were based on two cups purchased per day, from the thousands any SA cafe will make in a week. That’s harsh, quips a critic. Tough cookies, latte lover. One bad cup of coffee can ruin a consumer’s day. One bad cup of coffee can ruin a cafe’s reputation.  If a single snail in a single bottle of ginger beer can found the entire law of negligence, one hastily-made beverage merits hardline reviews.

Within the MMC framework, cases were judged on the facts. One cafe only from each coffee franchise, and one coffee franchise per week. What did MMC find in the Disneys of coffee land? Uno, due, tre, quattro caffe bar, nothing Ciborgasmic, and nowhere we’ve Bean Bar Stax would we return. Laboured puns aside, the so-called efforts of the Cibo CBD broke collective hearts. If red/white takeaway is your shtick, MMC will shoo you to the nearest Stax. But why settle for consistently average when you can have consistently excellent for the same price?

Starting from up high – but in no particular order – you’ll find The Value: up there at Air on North Terrace. (A shout-out @ Chris Jarmer for calling to return MMC’s newly acquired, newly forgotten [fresh-framed] law degree.) If your café is your castle, enjoy The Vibe: at Kappy’s and Nano: Ready to Go. For The Service: get served at Viva Espresso and Rigoni’s Bistro. Prima facie, Honours go to The Beans: at Il Incontro in Adelaide Arcade, and Energize in Market Plaza. On non-sitting days, get more for The Pour: at Cikolatte on Melbourne St and Espresso Royale on Magill Rd.

The lesson: MMC had Fair Trade. MMC had Organic. MMC had single origin, and well, more origins. MMC learned the ABA –Acidity, Body, Aroma.  MMC had Rainforest Alliance, for flip’s sake, and recommends boycotting Fix Coffee/Grinders everywhere. We've had excellent coffee, and we've drunk dirt. We’ve had excellent service, and we’ve been treated like dirt. Loyalty cards? Take ‘em or leave ‘em. Hear ye cafes: our loyalty is for sale. You can buy it with capital-Q Quality and capital-C Consistency. Give your customers smooth coffee, silky milk, and a smile. Every time.


The latte word: When it comes to coffee, Adelaide’s CBD  C.D.B. – Could Do Better. Commuters Deserve Better. They call ‘it’ ‘the daily grind’ for so many reasons. From a rose-coloured latte-glass-holding MMC, now resident in the ACT, it’s an overall 3 beans out of 5. Three city cafes out of five are worth your drive. To all who read MMC, happy drinking. If you’re thirsty, keep reading, because MMC is re-opening the case in another jurisdiction. You betcha – join MMC as Barrister Barista, searching for Our Nation's Cappucino at www.thecanberran.com.
Link: Adelaide plus sugar at www.radelaide.net